Sometimes life gets in the way. Sometimes your mind is elsewhere. Sometimes you try to out your own happiness before anything else. And sometimes it fails.
I sometimes don’t know what to do anymore. I feel slightly depressed, slightly confused, and slightly worried about what the future may hold.
I have a great friends, and for the most part, supportive family. I’m trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. With my career.
The options are endless. Travel. School. Venture out of Georgia and plant my roots somewhere?
That last one is a tough one to swallow. While I would love to start over somewhere else, the thought scares me. Leaving my friends. My family. My whole life. But maybe that doesn’t seem as bad
I sometimes feel like my friends are amazing but temporary. I sometimes question incentives, mainly because I have trust issues, but then again is that just an excuse? Probably. But let’s roll with it.
I’ve formed a friendship with a guy that ended up being completely unexpected. He’s became my brother and someone I can definitely rely on. I have some of his old friends and current friends chirping in my ear saying he’s using me.
Should I believe it or just call jealously. Obviously when I ask him about it he denies it. But then I think. Would someone that was using me let me crash at their house nights on end? Travel with me? Let me bitch to bitch? Maybe, but it’s highly unlikely. And the fact that I let them get into my head makes me angry.
That’s beside the point. Leaving this state, even as much as I want it, would crush me. A part of me, though moving on, would be here. But maybe if it didn’t scare me it wouldn’t be the right thing.
Only time can tell
Here’s to the rest of the year, the laughs, and the fun that will continue. Here’s to the unknown. And my weird love for not knowing.